An Unwanted Desire
by linsteadloverr
Summary: Will a kiss change everything for Erin? Linstead One-Shot


**AN- Okay so I know there is a story out there extremely similar to this one and I'm sorry to that writer for posting this but I've had it on the back burner for a while now and their story inspired me to finish this one. Thanks for reading and please review! If you want to leave any suggestions for one-shot topics you can PM or write it in a review and I'll try my best to get to it!**

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><p>Erin thought back to the day she first kissed her fiance, exactly two years ago. She couldn't believe they had made it this far. He started as a distraction from a unwanted desire that would leave everyone she cared about in ruins, but he turned into the man she was ready to love for the rest of her life. Kelly Severide.<p>

They got engaged about 6 months ago and were getting married in 5 days. Their whole relationship was a whirlwind but you can never predict what will happen when two people have the most dangerous jobs in the city of Chicago.

Everything was turning out to be absolutely perfect. Voight was accepting of their relationship right off the bat, his coworkers at Firehouse 51 loved her and accepted her as one of their own, but it was a little bit harder with her Intelligence family. Once Voight was okay with it she assumed the rest of the team would be happy for her, but that wasn't the case. Antonio was in a bad place with his wife so she didn't expect him to be excited for her that she found happiness and if Voight was good with it then of course Olinsky would be too, but it was Adam and Jay that surprised her. Adam was totally against it and Jay didn't talk to her for weeks unless it had something to do with the case they were working on. Confused didn't even describe how she felt during that month. She eventually found out that Adam was just getting over a bad breakup and had explained to her that he felt like two people who are completely different never work out and Jay was pissed because of what happened with him being accused of murder and she wasn't there for him when he needed him the most **(Just an FYI, in the timeline of the last few episodes of Chicago PD Season 1 the last two episodes happened two months after the 13th episode in my universe)**. Everything went back to normal eventually.

She chose Jay as her man of honor since they became extremely close since becoming partners and Kelly chose Leslie Shay as his best woman. Since Erin had no clue how to plan a wedding in less than 6 months, Shay helped plan what was going to be a wedding that no one could ever forget. She couldn't believe that is was happening in so fast, but she was ready.

Her bachelorette party would start any minute now, not that it should be called a bachelorette party if it was just going to be her and Jay drinking beers and watching a Blackhawks game on her couch.

She was snapped out of her reminiscing once she heard a knock on her door. She was ready to celebrate her upcoming nuptials with her best friend.

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><p>Jay had a lot of regrets and realizing he was in love with Erin Lindsay too late was one of them. He told himself he was over his feelings for her the day she told him her and Severide were engaged, but was he? He really couldn't answer that question but he did the best he could to stop himself from thinking of her that way since she was happy. He felt like she was endgame for him. He loved being her best friend and was happy with getting the opportunity for being her man of honor.<p>

He decided that a week before her "bachelorette party" that he was completely over her. He was falling in love with Allie and now he saw her as endgame. It felt good.

He was excited to just hang out with his best friend with no distractions for her "bachelorette party".

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><p>About 12 beers between the both of them and a few shots later, Erin and Jay were completely hammered. The Blackhawks game was long over and they were both sitting on the couch laughing their asses off at every word that came out of their mouths. Somehow they got to the point of Erin tickling Jay and he fell over on his back laying across the couch and Erin jumped on top of him still tickling him. She didn't realize until she was laughing hysterically into his chest that she was straddling him.<p>

There was a point when they both stopped laughing and the room went silent. She was still straddling him and she had her hands on his chest to keep her balance. They were staring into each others eyes and Erin let her gaze drift to his lips and she went for it without thinking. Jay's hands found their way to her hips. They both felt the sparks between them. After about 10 minutes of making out, Erin started to take off his shirt. She knew it was wrong and she should stop, but it felt so right and it felt good.

Once they came up for air, they realized what they both had just done. They sobered up rather quickly as Erin started pacing around the room and spouting out the consequences that can result from what they had just done. Jay sat there rubbing his temples trying to fight against the throbbing in his head.

"What am I going to do Jay? I need to tell Kelly! He's going to be heartbroken. He had so many insecurities about our relationship because of you, Jay! Because of you!"

"Erin you need to calm down for a second!"

"Don't tell me to calm down! It's your fault that I'm going to be in this mess! You're the one that kissed me!"

"Last time I checked you were the one who was on top of me and.."

"This is not the time for blame Jay! What are we going to do?" Erin sat down on her couch next to Jay.

"It's not my place to tell Kelly or anyone for that matter so I guess I'm willing to keep it a secret if you are."

"I don't know what I'm going to do Jay, but I can tell you one thing, that I am going to marry Kelly and we're going to have a long happy life together, okay! Now you need to leave. The kiss doesn't change anything, you're still my best friend and man of honor and I don't want anything to change that."

"I'll go. See you at the rehearsal dinner." Jay got up and walked to the door while Erin stayed in her spot in the couch. He looked at her once he got to the door, sighed, and left.

Erin started to cry once she heard the door close. How could she be so stupid! She ruined the perfect relationship! She decided to take a shower and just go to bed but she couldn't sleep. Part of her felt guilty, but the other part of her has been waiting for that moment for a long time.

Jay walked the long way home to just clear his head. He realized that Erin was endgame for him and it was stupid to think otherwise. He didn't want to jeopardize her relationship with Kelly. She needed to choose him herself. He had no clue how he would get through this wedding if she went through with it.

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><p>The rehearsal dinner was torture for Erin. It was the first time she saw Jay since the incident and she felt the butterflies in her stomach, she wasn't supposed to feel that way. Kelly could tell something was off, but she just told him it was wedding jitters and he just let it go without further comment.<p>

Jay on the other hand couldn't be more confused. He assumed Erin would've told Kelly and something would've happened in the result of it. He broke up with Allie because he didn't feel like it was fair to her. Erin was avoiding him, he could tell. He needed to talk to her, but he didn't know if she would listen to what he had to say.

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><p>Erin insisted that her and Kelly stay in different places which was probably a good thing. She needed more time to think about Jay. Why she needs to think about him is what she's not totally sure about. All of a sudden she heard a knock on her door. She opened it and saw him standing there.<p>

"We need to talk Erin. I can't pretend like nothing happened."

"What do you want me to say Jay? That I didn't feel something so you should move on because I'm not going to pretend like I didn't feel that spark between us."

He took her hands. "I felt it too Erin which is why I'm here. I needed to tell you that I can't stand seeing you with Kelly because you should be with me. I know that's totally unfair to say since you're getting married tomorrow, but I need to get this off my chest Erin. I'm not going to forgive myself if I don't."

She pulled her hands away with force. "NO JAY YOU NEED TO STOP! I can't do this right now! I'm getting married tomorrow to a guy I really love, but… but…"

"But what Erin?"

"I think I love you okay! The whole reason Kelly and I started dating was so I would stay away from you. But we can't do anything anymore because I'm getting married to him and it would break his heart if I stopped it now. You wouldn't have a job because Voight would hate your guts. And.."

Jay cut Erin off with a kiss. "I think I might love you too."

Erin started laughing. "What am I supposed to do now? Huh? I can't marry Kelly! If I love you more than I think I could ever love him then it's not fair I need to tell him now." She starts to reach for her phone.

Jay reaches for Erin's arm. "No. Erin, what are you going to say?"

"I don't know but I need to tell him I can't." Erin starts to walk out of the living room into her bedroom. "Wait here please if you don't mind."

"No problem." Jay sits down on the couch.

About 30 minutes have passed. He can hear her crying from the other room and when she eventually comes out and her face is stained with her tears. "What happened?"

"Well he's angry, I expected that. I had to explain that I love him but it's not that love that can last a lifetime without getting boring. I don't think he understood, but he will soon. He said he'll have Shay handle everything about tomorrow. He just wants me to be happy I guess. I feel horrible Jay!"

"Hey, look at me. Erin. Everything will be okay. It might take some time, but it'll be fine. In the meantime though, if you want to do this, us, then I think we should keep it on the down low so it doesn't create more problems than it already has. Do you agree?"

"Yeah I just want to be with you. Wait what about Allie?"

"Oh I broke up with her the morning after our kiss."

Erin smiled. "I love you and we'll face the world together okay?"

"I love you too. Everything's going to be okay." He enveloped her in a tight hug and kissed her forehead gently.

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><p><strong>AN- Eh, that didn't really go how I planned which is part of the reason I put it on the back burner for so long. Kind of an unrealistic ending but whatever. Review please and suggestions are welcome!<strong>


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